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We are trained by the current social model, especially as men, to run away from emotions that are not “happy” or “good”. But the main problem with this is that it ignores the fact that millions of years of evolution gave us those emotions for a good reason. (or if you prefer a great creator).

At first glace this might seem silly. What good could deep sadness do? But often if we give that sadness a voice through a kind of call and response method, that is, if we approach it quizzically, we can sometimes sidestep the anger, and get to the real root of the problem.

This isn’t easy. You have to be genuine, because most of your life you’ve probably been pushing emotions down, and trying to kill or numb them. But here’s the rub. You cannot numb just the bad ones. It is the dichotomy of emotions that let us feel the good ones. So when you approach your subconscious it’s likely to attempt to defend itself, which makes sense, you’ve been attacking it all this time.

However, if you can sift through the vitriol, and gently but firmly ask it real questions, without leading, you can sometimes piece apart what’s really going on, and in doing so identify the cognitive errors present within.

Today, I felt sad. I didn’t know why, so I took out a sheet of paper, and said, hello sadness, come on in, tell me your woes, what do you have to teach me. It proceeded to berate me about how I was not doing enough in my work life. So I politely asked it what was enough… and so on. This continued on and on, me nicely but pointedly asking for clarification. The writing externalized it, made it real, prevented the mercurial brain from shifting tactics mid thought.

In the end, keep this in mind, you are not trying to beat your mind, you are trying to reconnect with it. You are attempting to rectify the unconscious ideas that guide you with your conscious desires, and that takes time and patience.