I recently disappointment a friend. It wasn’t a big disappointment but I could tell it made him feel bad.
I felt bad at first, but then after a bit of soul searching I realized that while, I may have disappointed a friend, and I did feel bad, I still did the right thing.
The thing is you have to take care of yourself first no matter what. That’s a tough sell, especially to people who were raised to take care of others. Being an older sibling I saw it as my job to care for everyone at the expense of myself.
But here’s a secret. No one reasonable, (reasonable! I say.) will expect you to take care of them first, because in their heads they will always take care of themselves first.
While it sucks to disappoint people, you can’t help anyone if you yourself are broken.
In reality, not wanting to disappoint someone is an ego driven overvaluation of your impact on the other person.
Think of the last time someone disappointment you. You might have trouble recalling it. Did it hurt that badly? Probably not, in reality, if you liked them you forgave them relatively quickly.
try and place that own standard on yourself, and remember. You are human!