Something I realized lately is that to most of the population I am an extra at best in this play of life but for the most part no one is looking at me. Even if they are they don’t know who I am. Even if they do they probably don’t care.
You are special to people who know you. The people who love you cherish you, and to them you matter.
But to know someone takes time. Time is limited and so the number of people you truly can know beyond the trivial is minimal
Not to mention that most people are just like you, paying attention to their actions , thoughts and feelings.
Finally, add in the pull of the smart phone which people are buried in and you realize that for the most part you could do whatever you want and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone no one is gonna even notice or remember.
While this might seem like a great existential problem, reframing it as a human boon can help you immensely.
Since no one is watching really, you can do whatever you want, in the private of your own life. You are free to dye your hair green,or dress like a hipster or wear an anime tshirt.
Because at the end of the day no one is really gonna care except you.
Roar as the dawn rises, in the stench of blood and rot. we dwell in cities iced in luxury but the core is soured, old milk on hot pavement, the carton looks fresh and new, but chunky truth hides in the middle.
So many rage. I see it. I feel it. Every time a shooting happens, each time a man’s neck is kneeled upon, each time a polotical scandal breaches the surface.
“Has the world ever been this bad?” Utter lips, their question rhetorical, they know in their heart it’s never been this bad.
Or has it?
I am going to say something controversial, the world is better than ever.
The world was much much worse in the past, but we didn’t know about it. If you wanted to learn about the atrocities that a black man in the south lived through you might have to actually track him down and ask him, or more likely his surviving relatives.
If you wanted to know about political corruption you had to hope the newspaper told you about it.
Now everyone is a whistle-blower, and the hot steaming truth of the horrors of the world once hidden from us is at our pocket level each day, and each night.
Moreover, we are fed this horrible info, because capitalistic systems have figured out that the best way to monetize us is to make us upset.
And so we walk around in a state of low level upsetness, each horror we consume adding to our guild and existential debts.
I ask, what value have we derived from the overflow of knowledge? What do we glean from this consistent impotent rage, checked by flare ups?
And why? Because Citizens of the United States are constantly allowing themselves to be distracted by the next outrage. They eschew dialog in favor of looking good to their peers, and they push agendas lazily from behind a keyboard.
This is not an indictment, Real, Long Lasting change, is difficult, messy, unsatisfactory, and slow.
The kind of change being demanded by various protest movements is one of systemic policy making, and requires organization and an effective organization requires a unified ideal.
Part of the reason many left leaning movements in the united states have fallen apart can be see in the disparate elements of the party.
Not that this is a particularly good thing, but the right wing of the united states was quick to back the president. While seemingly spineless this sort of rallying can be no means dismissed as ineffective.
Most protest movements fall apart simply because they have no unification. Factions within the movement draw lines, and preform social signaling to prove they are the most worthy.
Without a clear structure, clear goals, and a unified long-term strategy, people who want to enact change will either burn out their rage impotent or potentially more dangerously flock to utopian ideals.
One needs only look at the 20th century’s death camps, famines, wars, and police states to know how dangerous utopia can be.
When I started this blog, I wanted to do something positive, but being a human it’s taken me a while to realize what that is. I hold myself to a high standard, but lately, I’ve been doing so through a gentle coaxing of the kind uncle instead of the tyrannical dictator.
To be a young man, of any race or creed, in this time is difficult. This is an unprecedented time of change, and while I see a preponderance of people rising up to help those around them, I see no one doing so for the young men of the world.
This is not to say we can diminish the struggles of our brother’s and sisters. This is not my purpose, I want to hold them up, but in order to do that without a grimy layer of resentment bubbling under the surface, to defeat the demons we must address those people who are currently feeling attacked.
I am not saying the vitriol being thrown the way of the male isn’t justified due to the past behaviors of our ancestors, there have been many, many, many, tragedies visited upon the world by the leaders of the past. I am simply saying that in order to break the cycle we must learn.
I am a 31 year old strait white man. I am not qualified to speak on the issues of race, or sex. So I will speak on the issues that I know, the process of being a confused young man who got lucky enough not to fall into the pit of Misogyny and Hate.
Moreover, I want to offer advice to those men who know the role-models presented to them are not correct, but know not where to look.
This series will not be a pity party, nor an invitation to hate, but instead a series of lessons, I learned that delivered me from existential hell to some semblance of understanding.
I won’t say happiness, or peace , or balance. Those are not states of being but acts undertaken, but more on that later.
Instead I will say this. If you are lost, I cannot tell you the way, but I can show you what worked for me. I am writing primarily for young men, but the advice presented here works for anyone really.
It is the accumulation of 18 years of suffering, journalism, reading, studying and meditation. Talk is cheap, but it’s all I have to give.
So I hope to talk to you about the things I’ve learned as a young man in a changing world, not from a place of pity, but from a place of struggle, and struggle, the struggle is everything.
I am having a really tough time lately. I took a mental health day today, saw Jurrasic World, (it was glorious by the way), and marched up to the home plate in League of Legends only to be defeated every game I played. So now I am updating this blog.
I want to start posting some stories I write on here, and also some pen/stationary reviews. Maybe a few more personal rants, but I am thinking about cutting it down to 3x a week. Thoughts?